Dinner With Disaster
by AJlovesKakashi
Summary: Non-massacre, ShiSaku. Dinner sounded just lovely, especially with the "ground rules" Sasuke set for his cousin about his lovely pink-haired teammate. Oneshot.


Okay, I swear this is only going to be a oneshot.

Non-massacre~

Shisui X Sakura, because this pairing needs love.

Disclaimer: Sorry, my name is not Masashi Kishimoto. I don't own Naruto, but I really wish I did. Oh, the things I would do…the places I would go…

-o0-

Dinner With Disaster

-o0-

It was one of those days, Uchiha Shisui mused, when the world was peacefully quiet. Rarely was he allowed this time for himself between ANBU missions and Itachi's crafty schemes to ditch clan meetings. Therefore, it was quite understandable that he chose to use his free day to simply stroll around the Uchiha Compound by himself with an unusually thoughtful expression etched into the contours of his face.

He was unhurried as he passed his aunt's house and curiously wondered whether Itachi was home, but surely his cousin would have sought him out for a spar if he weren't on a mission. It was bright and sunny; a temperate and lovely day in Konohagakure and Shisui was content.

"Shisui."

Or _was_.

"Sasuke-chan," he greeted, turning to face his youngest cousin.

"Okaa-san wanted me to invite you to dinner."

Shisui grinned and nodded once, "I'll see if I can make it."

Sasuke simply stood there awkwardly and shifted slightly, almost unnoticeably, clearing his throat, "Aniki isn't home, but my teammates will be there."

Shisui chuckled, "You thought that would scare me off, Sasu-chan? I've actually been curious about your team! Five years and I still haven't met them!"

Sasuke looked annoyed and it was evident that he had to suppress a groan, "Then I need to lay down a few groundrules."

"Oh?" the elder Uchiha cousin smirked, "Such as?"

"Sakura," Sasuke's head titled upward arrogantly, "is off-limits."

"That would be…?"

"My female teammate is off-limits," he restated. "Don't even look at her or Naruto and I _will_ retaliate."

Shisui burst into a riotous fit of laughter as he pointed at his cousin in amusement, "Sasu-chan! You're so protective! Is she your girlfriend or something?"

"No," Sasuke frowned.

"Then why the warning?"

Shisui watched as his cousin turned around almost dramatically, striding back to the entrance to his house, "Just don't try anything funny with Sakura."

"Sure, sure, Sasu-chan," Shisui waved, continuing on his path happily. He had already made up his mind― dinner sounded lovely.

-o0-

Sakura was early as always, arriving before Naruto and standing nervously outside the door of the Uchiha home. Steadily, she raised her hand and rapped on the wooden frame surrounding the traditional paper door. Instantly, quick footsteps were heard and Sakura was sure that Uchiha Mikoto already sensed her presence and was now rushing to hug her to pieces.

Sakura sighed and sure enough, the door was thrown open and the beautiful, dark-haired Uchiha Matriarch pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Sakura-chan!"

The medic returned the hug with enthusiasm and waited to be let go. Once freed, she sent Mikoto a small smile, "Hello, Mikoto-san."

"Come in, come in! Dinner is nearly done!" Mikoto peeked around Sakura and smiled, "Naruto-kun isn't here yet?"

"As always," Sakura grit her teeth, "he's late."

"A habit he picked up from Kakashi," another voice sounded from inside the house.

Sakura nodded to him in greeting, "Sasuke."

He returned the nod and turned to his mother, "Okaa-san, I will go retrieve Naruto."

The two women watched as he strode away, his tense form disappearing around the corner as he left. Mikoto ushered Sakura in and led her to the kitchen where a dark-haired man, clearly an Uchiha, was leaning against the counter as he munched on an apple.

"Mikoto-chan, who's that?" he slurred, mouth filled with apple that shot out into the air as he spoke.

Sakura cringed and looked to the older woman with a raised eyebrow, wondering exactly _who_ this anomaly of an Uchiha was. She'd never met a member of the prideful clan that was unrefined, but this man was certainly different. Sasuke fought constantly with Naruto and even Itachi had his odd quirks; however, this Uchiha not only massacred an apple with no grace, but also was slouched against the counter with posture befitting a civilian.

"Shisui," Mikoto smiled, "this is Haruno Sakura."

He held out a hand and she gingerly accepted it, grimacing at the sticky skin beneath her palm. He shot her an award-winning smile more characteristic of Naruto than an Uchiha. This man, Shisui, didn't seem like a member of the "stick-so-far-up-their-asses" Clan (as Naruto had dubbed them), but there was no possible way that he wasn't.

"Sakura," Mikoto continued with an even wider smile as she observed Sakura's regard of her nephew, "this is Uchiha Shisui."

"Pleased to meet you, Sakura-chan," Shisui smiled, hand still firmly clasped around hers as he leaned in closely.

Sakura was at a loss for words― he was so _friendly_ that it was actually a little scary. She could only name a handful of people that had ever bypassed her last name so soon after meeting her (Ino, Naruto, Kakashi, Tsunade, and now Shisui), and she was heavily taken aback.

"Why don't you two go to the living room while I finish dinner and wait for Naruto and Sasuke?" Mikoto suggested, shooing them from the kitchen with a wave of her fingers.

Sakura reclaimed her hand from the exuberant Shisui and rubbed it against her clothes to no avail. "You need to wash your hands, Uchiha-san."

"Don't be so formal," he sighed, "I don't see the point in it."

"Washing your hands or being respectful?" she frowned, walking to the small bathroom adjacent to the living room.

Shisui followed with a smirk that was definitely an Uchiha family trait, walking closely behind her. _Too_ closely. "Sakura-chan, don't be like that," he chuckled.

She stopped at the sink and turned the faucet on, gathering soap from a nearby container and lathering until her hands were covered in the suds. She tensed suddenly as his own arms surrounded her to place his hands in the stream of water on top of hers.

"What do you think you're―?" she nearly yelled.

"Shh, Sakura-chan," he hushed, "I'm only washing my hands."

"You bastard, what the hell kind of excuse is that!" she frowned, stepping closer to the counter in an attempt to create space between them.

He moved closer and Sakura blushed as his chest pressed against her back. "It's not an excuse! I'm really washing my hands."

"Whatever," she turned to look at her hands, still surrounded by his. "Who molests someone they just met?"

He chuckled and Sakura inwardly panicked as the convulsions of his laughter shook her body uncomfortably. "I don't think it's molestation exactly."

"Then what is it?"

"Flirting," his smirk widened as his long, raven-colored locks brushed against the exposed part of her shoulder and neck.

Sakura frowned grumpily and turned off the water, "If I were you, I wouldn't try this flirting when my team gets here."

"Oh?"

She looked exceedingly irritated as she turned around completely to face him, "They're hot-headed morons."

"Sasuke mentioned something this morning about you being 'off-limits.' "

"They consider it a duty to drive away my dates," Sakura shrugged, "like they think that they'll steal my attention from my team."

"Do you ever consider finding a boyfriend just to spite them?" Shisui asked, his eyes lowering as he leaned even closer.

"Why?"

"I think I'd be excellent in that category."

"I think you're insane," she huffed as her hand rose to his shoulder and pushed him away. "We've just met and you're certainly too close for comfort."

"I was only playing," he protested, wiping his still wet hands against his black shirt.

Sakura crossed her arms across her chest with a pointed look, "I'm not the type of girl you can play around with."

He grinned and opened his mouth to speak when a silent presence darkened the doorway of the room, "Shisui."

The Uchiha stilled and glanced around, "Ah, Fugaku-oji-san, how are you?"

"Fine," was all the Uchiha head answered before he continued, "Shisui, I trust you aren't irritating Haruno-san with your witless banter?"

"Not at all, Uchiha-san," Sakura cut in on behalf of the idiot before her, "Shisui-kun was simply helping me with the details of a rather difficult technique I've been constructing. His input is very useful."

Fugaku nodded, "Carry on then."

"Heheheh…" Shisui rubbed his neck awkwardly as he bowed his head slightly, "Thanks for that one."

"He's pretty intimidating," she acknowledged, "I didn't do it because I like you or anything."

"No, not at all," he grinned. "Wouldn't dream of it."

She walked past him and snagged his sleeve, tugging to lead him into the living room, "Sasuke and Naruto should be here soon."

She took a seat on the lavish couch and Shisui followed, "So, tell me about you."

"Is that a question or a demand?" she glanced at him sideways.

"Eh…" he thought for a second, "a request?"

Sakura sighed and leaned back fully against the back of the couch, "I'm Konoha's head medic."

"Oh really?"

"I'm also the apprentice of the Hokage."

Shisui looked amazed, "I knew she had an apprentice, but I didn't know it was you."

Sakura quirked an eyebrow and began to laugh, falling against his side as she shook with giggles. Shisui sent her a weird look and she felt the need to elaborate, "You're probably the one person in Konoha who doesn't know that I'm _the_ Haruno Sakura. The girl who ruins training grounds and punches holes through walls and perverts alike!"

"I don't spend a lot of time in Konoha," he grumbled, his face heating up as her head still rested against his shoulder, "Itachi sends me on a lot of ANBU missions."

"Ah, so you're in ANBU," she said impressed. "Itachi-san is rather difficult to work with, right? I'm only assuming because I know for a fact that he's just like Kakashi when it comes to hospitals."

"Is he really?"

"He always attempts to distract me when I pull out needles," she chuckled.

They both sat for a while, happily chatting with each other as they waited. Soon though, Sakura felt a pinprick of awareness and she knew that her two boys were slowly strolling toward the house. She stood quickly and Shisui watched with disappointment as she moved to a nearby cozy chair.

"Sorry, but who knows what hell the idiots would put you through if you were sitting by me," Sakura explained. "It's not like I like you or anything. I just don't want to have to heal you later."

"Those two couldn't land a scratch on me," he boasted.

Sakura shrugged, but her gaze turned thoughtful, "Don't underestimate those two. When they want something and work together, they're actually rather formidable."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

And with that, Shisui was struck with a horribly devious idea.

Sakura cast him a dubious look, obviously distrustful of his gleeful expression and was disconcerted when he didn't bother to elaborate on his low chuckles. Based on his face and the two approaching chakra signatures, the medic was forced to conclude that this dinner was going to be in the company of a rude guest named disaster.

-o0-

Highly uncomfortable was what Sakura felt this entire dinner was. Without Itachi around to distract Fugaku, his scrutiny was instead turned to his second son and his nephew. Sakura herself was even questioned mercilessly by the Uchiha Patriarch and she nearly resorted to clinging to Sasuke beside her in order to hide herself from his dark, Sharigan enhanced line of vision.

"Haruno-san, I'm sure your Shishou intends for you to marry, correct?" he questioned.

"H-Hai…"

"No doubt with the Kazekage," he ventured, "it would greatly benefit Konoha if Suna became a more permanent ally. You should be honored."

Sakura's face blushed and she turned away to look pleadingly at Sasuke, who blatantly ignored her request. The traitor.

Sighing deeply, Sakura spoke up, "I'm afraid, Uchiha-san, that Tsunade-sama does not wish for me to marry against my will, so she has left it up to my discretion."

A breath of relief escaped Mikoto and the woman smiled, "That's good, right, Fugaku? We could still have Sakura-chan join the clan."

Sasuke's eye twitched and he leveled a glare at his mother, "Sakura has not had any suitors yet."

Fugaku seemed almost pleased and continued on, "Yes, Mikoto, we could have Sakura join the clan. Who do you think would best match her?"

Sakura raised a hand to smooth the creases between her eyebrows and the older woman began pondering excitedly. "At first, I would think Sasuke (he and Naruto choked at this) but after careful thought, I think Itachi and Sakura would make a delightful pair."

"No!" Sakura's teammates responded firmly.

Naruto then decided his input was needed and he began to speak with a tone of aggravation, "No, No, Mikoto-san! Sakura-chan is going to stay single forever and we would never let Weasel-teme get his slimy hands on her!"

"Shut up, dobe!" Sasuke smacked him around Sakura, "don't call my brother teme!"

"Ow, teme! What the hell was that for?" Naruto kicked him back.

"Ow! Don't call **me** a teme either!"

The two began to fight and eventually they stood up to face each other. Mikoto requested that they take their battle outside and the two practically waltzed from the house, those left rolling their eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of the two.

"Anyway, Mikoto-chan," Shisui began, "why can't I be on the list of potential candidates?"

Fugaku and Mikoto both looked mildly surprised and Sakura simply glared at him as her grip on her chopsticks tightened. Eventually, Mikoto found her voice and began to think on the potential, "I'd never considered Shisui before… What do you think, Fugaku?"

The older man thought on it a second, "Her particular abilities and Itachi's would work far better in conjunction and the chances for prodigies has a higher probability. Itachi would be a far better candidate."

Sakura was completely mortified and her skin jumped as something touched her beneath the table. Whatever it was wriggled against her crossed calves and travelled to her knee, caressing her uncomfortably.

"What the―?" Sakura squeaked.

"Sakura-chan?" Shisui smirked deviously, "Are you okay?"

It suddenly made sense. He was deliberately bating her in front of his aunt and uncle, two of the most influential individuals in Konoha. She grit her teeth as she glared at him with expertly concealed rage, "Never better."

Sasuke and Naruto chose that time to make their re-entrance into the dining room, sitting on either side of their pink-haired teammate. "So, Mikoto-san, you don't still want to pair Sakura-chan with Itachi, right?" Naruto grinned.

"Well, Fugaku and I are now considering Shisui-kun," Mikoto grinned.

"No."

Fugaku's brow tilted upward at his younger son's outburst, "You disapprove, Sasuke?"

"Itachi is one thing― he at least respects Sakura, but Shisui doesn't respect women at all!" Sasuke grumbled.

"You don't give me enough credit, Sasu-chan," Shisui smiled from the other side of the table, "I'm sure I could treat Sakura _wonderfully_. Right, Sakura, ne?"

Sakura paled as his sock-covered foot stroked along her calf slowly. She could only manage the act of nodding her head slightly while she still glared at him.

"Whaaaa…?" Naruto's eyes widened dramatically. "Sakura-chan, you actually like this Uchiha-teme?"

Sasuke reached around Sakura to smack his blonde teammate, "Don't call my cousin a teme, dobe."

Naruto smacked him back, "Don't call me a dobe, teme!"

Sasuke's eye twitched in irritation, "Don't call me a teme either, dobe!"

Mikoto rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Boys, you know the drill. Take it outside."

Naruto and Sasuke dutifully rose from the table and solemnly walked outside where Sakura was sure they collapsed into a pile of punching fists and over the top jutsu the moment they were far enough from the house to avoid collateral damage. Sakura was once again left alone to face the three Uchiha who seemed to enjoy toying with her mind and she was becoming increasingly annoyed with her teammates' inability to read a situation correctly.

Shisui was smirking at her with a traditional Uchiha gleam to it that seemed to mock her earlier warnings about the ferocity of her teammates. "So, Sakura-chan, what do you think?"

His foot was still caressing her slowly and she shifted uncomfortably, "About what?"

"You and I," he said slowly, "together."

Her throat was dry and the curious parents of her teammate were staring at her expectantly. She had to consciously remain polite, she reminded herself. She could always beat him up later, she supposed, no matter what her answer was.

"I would not be a-adverse to the idea," she conceded quietly, "I suppose."

Shisui's foot actually paused in surprise and Sakura thought with relief for one fraction of a second that he would stop making her uncomfortable until he redoubled his efforts after her concession of defeat. What was even worse than Shisui's growing confidence was Mikoto's beaming smile that reminded her of Sasuke's battle-ready expression.

Fugaku, though, seemed rather displeased with the idea, having already made his particular opinion known. "Hn, I think that Itachi is still better suited as a candidate."

"Only genetics-wise, anata," Mikoto smiled from across the table, "Did you consider personality?"

"Of course," Fugaku huffed in a very Sasuke-esque fashion. "Shisui, despite his speed and strength, is not a very dedicated or serious individual. Eventually, he would lose interest and move on to the next female, whilst Itachi would remain faithful as a loyal husband."

Sakura seriously felt like slamming her forehead into the table. She and Itachi got along very well, but it was only due to mutual acknowledgement of the others' skills. Shisui, in the single evening she'd known him, was entertaining and actually somewhat witty to his credit.

Having people trying to decide her fate though always tended to annoy her and although Shisui's harassment was somewhat entertaining (and flattering), it really wasn't helping matters. What she really needed was to escape this situation and finding the perfect excuse was rather difficult with the calm bantering between the Uchiha leaders and Shisui's contented smirk as he molested her beneath the table.

"Excuse me, Uchiha-san, Mikoto-san," she spoke up, "I have to work at the hospital tomorrow morning and I need to be well-rested in case of an emergency."

"Oh, it's no problem, dear!" Mikoto smiled. "Shisui-kun, please escort her home."

Sakura held her hands up good-naturedly, "That won't be necessary. I live close to the Hokage tower and that would be a terrible inconvenience for him."

"Oh, but I would feel terribly guilty, Sakura-chan," Shisui remarked dramatically, "if you were to be attacked on your long way home."

Her eye twitched, but she kept up her smile, "Don't worry, Shisui-kun, I have chakra-enhanced strength so I can beat up any perverts I meet."

"I insist, really."

-o0-

In the end, she supposed, she should've known he would stubbornly escort her, despite it being completely unnecessary. He wasn't keeping his hands to himself either, much to her consternation.

Much like the earlier molestation incidents, Shisui was invading her personal space and now had an arm slung about her waist with an annoyingly large smirk plastered across his face. His fingers weren't dormant either― they rubbed at her maroon-clothed stomach excitedly in a way that wasn't exactly unwelcome.

"So, how'd you like dinner, Sakura-chan?" he smirked.

"Besides listening to two idiots fight, people deciding my future, and being sexually harassed by the weirdest Uchiha I've ever met," she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, "the food was enjoyable."

"Oh, Sakura-chan," he smirked, "don't tell me you didn't like the action! Usually, dinner is so boring, but with virile, young Shisui to entertain you, dinner had to be far more fun than usual!"

"I'll admit that it was more eventful," she shrugged, "but aren't you a bit too over confident? Maybe you're…making up for something?"

Shisui's jaw dropped slightly but then spread into an all out grin, "Why don't you tell me, Sakura-chan?"

By this time, they had reached her residence and had stopped outside the front door, turning to face each other. Shisui marveled at the knowing look on her face and leaned closer instinctively only to be met with two fingers against his lips.

"Sorry, Shisui-kun," she smirked, "I don't work that way. You'll have to buy me dinner sometime first."

"Tomorrow," he suggested quickly, "let's go tomorrow."

"I'm busy tomorrow," smiled slyly. "Surprise me sometime. Goodnight, Shisui-kun."

Shisui watched with disappointment as she moved away quickly and disappeared into her small house, waving as she went. He stood there for a few moments before placing his hands in his pockets and chuckling loudly, walking away in the direction of the Uchiha compound.

"Just you wait, Fugaku-oji-san, Itachi ain't got nothing on me."

-o0-

-o0-

-o0-

-o0-

What a lovely little oneshot~

You get a hundred points if you can spot the "Breakfast Club" reference! ^_^

Please review!

Haruhi commands you!

XDD

AJlovesKakashi


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